Why move to a small town? The benefits and the trade-offs

Frank Rolfe moved his family from Dallas to Ste. Genevieve, Missouri, in 2005. Dave Reynolds left Denver for Gunnison, Colorado, a mountain town on the Western Slope. Both call it the best move they ever made, and they wrote a book to help other city families decide whether it could work for them too.

This page sums up what they found. It covers the downsides as well, because a small town isn't the right fit for everyone.

Less crime, cleaner air

Safety comes first on the book's list. In Frank and Dave's experience, crime is far less of a daily worry in a small town. You spend less time wondering where the kids are or whether you locked the door, and the book says children who grow up without that worry tend to be happier and more confident.

Every town is different, so check the one you're considering. The local police department or sheriff's office can tell you what kinds of calls they get most often.

The air is part of it too. Away from heavy traffic and industry, the authors found the air much cleaner. The book talks about noticing simple things again, like the smell of flowers and rain and the feel of a cool breeze.

Everyone is invited

One of the biggest surprises for city people is how quickly you're included. As Frank and Dave put it in the book, "In Small Town U.S.A., everyone is invited to everything."

There are fewer people to go around, so towns need everyone to pitch in. In the authors' experience, a child who wants to play on a team usually gets to play, even if they aren't the star. Newcomers get invited to parties, charity drives and church events from the start.

The book says the same goes for the country club. Where a city club might have a waiting list, in most small towns anyone who wants to join can.

Kids grow up with more freedom and responsibility

The book describes small-town kids as polite and mature for their age. Many teenagers hold jobs, partly because the town needs their help, and they grow up taking work and school seriously.

Kids also spend more of their time outside, playing sports and games with friends, and less time asking for the latest thing. When nobody is keeping score with stuff, the asking tends to stop.

Older residents are part of everything

In Frank and Dave's experience, small towns include every generation. Many activities are built around the whole family, grandparents included, and neighbors and even the police look out for older residents.

For retirees, that sense of belonging can matter as much as the lower cost of living.

Neighbors who look out for you

City people sometimes assume the friendliness is an act at first. In Frank and Dave's experience, it's genuine. Neighbors keep an eye on your house, your yard and your kids, and they'll call for help if something looks wrong.

It can feel like nosiness until you understand it. In the book's words, your neighbor is "watching for moments to render aid."

Plenty to do, most of it free

Friday night football, other school games, town picnics, church gatherings and all kinds of outdoor fun: there's usually something going on every week, open to everyone. Most of it is free or close to it, since a small town can't charge much and still draw a crowd.

Things are also more fun when you know people by their first names, and in a small town you soon will.

More family time and real town pride

The book credits small towns with a stronger focus on family life, and it notes that every kind of household, from traditional families to single parents, is welcomed.

People also take pride in their town. They turn out for events, give to local causes and serve on local boards, and in many small towns even the fire department is run by volunteers. In a city, people often find their circle through a school or a club. In a small town, the whole town is the club.

The trade-offs

Frank and Dave are honest about the downsides, and you should be too. Here's what takes some getting used to:

• The police are stricter. Things that slide in a big city, like panhandling, speeding or driving after a few drinks, are not tolerated.
• Everyone notices. Your neighbors will know when you leave and when you come home. It comes from caring, but if you value your privacy, it takes some adjusting.
• Fewer choices. You may have one grocery store and a handful of restaurants. Specialists, big stores and entertainment can mean a drive to the city, and if you need a local job, the options are narrower.
• Health care may be farther away. If you're older or have ongoing health needs, the drive to a good hospital matters a great deal.
• Not every town opens its doors. Some prosperous towns are slow to let newcomers in. The book calls this the "solid but exclusive" town.

For Frank and Dave, the benefits far outweighed these. Only you can weigh them for your own family.

Where to start

Frank and Dave urge readers to look hard at the idea and see whether it would really work for their own family. A good first step is figuring out what kind of town fits your family. Then take a close look at the money, since lower costs are the other half of the story.

If you'd like the whole story in one place, Frank and Dave's book is free to download.